24-09-2015, 02:19 PM
Hi,
The arbiter and controller shortage is more important.
These people are on a hiding to nothing. If a player drops a clanger the worst that
can happen is I get a hold of it and publish it.
If a controller makes a mistake then it launches a thread of much bitterness claiming
incompetence and neglect. (never have you ever seen me having a pop at these people,
I may crack a joke about their hair cuts etc...but never about what they do or any supposed
error that may have made.)
I would not like to do it.
Re: Live Boards.
Just say you have live boards and when they log on let them see a game they think is being played live.
The live game will be a normal PGN utility set to show moves at 4-5 minutes intervals.
Any old game will do, the people who watch live games are stupid, they will never twig on.
Hmmm....The World Cup. Got a Football/Chess Thing.
What about a team of chess players playing football against Barnstable United.
Manager Bobby Fischer.
He will complain about the floodlights and have the first 10 seats of the stadium emptied.
The Team.
Goalkeeper. Botvinnik.
It should have been Keres but at the trials Keres let in 20 goals. Some say he was forced to and did it on purpose to let Botvinnik play.
Left Back. Danny Gormally.
He punched an opponent and was sent off after only two minutes.
Right Back. Curt von Bardeleben
He left the field after 10 minutes and never came back.
Left Half and Right Half, Alekhine & Capablance.
Hopeless, the two of them refused to pass the ball to each other.
Centre Half and Captain. Magnus Carlsen.
His team talk was to score one goal and grind out a win. Also the only player wearing a sponsors logo on his shirt. Infact he was covered in company logo's.
Left Wing. Korchnoi.
At half time he defected and played for the other side.
Right Wing. Kasparov.
Subbed for Deep Blue and spent the rest of the game running up and down the touchline complaining about it.
Inside left Kramnik.
Kept leaving the field to go to the toilet.
Inside Right. Topalov.
Started complaining to the referee about how many times Kramnik left the field trying to get his own man sent off.
Centre Forward/Striker. Petrosian.
Refused to shoot on goal, infact spent entire game on his own goal line boosting the defence.
Final Score:
Barnstable United 11 Chess Players ½.
(Petrosian was playing, we always get a ½ when he plays.)
The arbiter and controller shortage is more important.
These people are on a hiding to nothing. If a player drops a clanger the worst that
can happen is I get a hold of it and publish it.
If a controller makes a mistake then it launches a thread of much bitterness claiming
incompetence and neglect. (never have you ever seen me having a pop at these people,
I may crack a joke about their hair cuts etc...but never about what they do or any supposed
error that may have made.)
I would not like to do it.
Re: Live Boards.
Just say you have live boards and when they log on let them see a game they think is being played live.
The live game will be a normal PGN utility set to show moves at 4-5 minutes intervals.
Any old game will do, the people who watch live games are stupid, they will never twig on.
Hmmm....The World Cup. Got a Football/Chess Thing.
What about a team of chess players playing football against Barnstable United.
Manager Bobby Fischer.
He will complain about the floodlights and have the first 10 seats of the stadium emptied.
The Team.
Goalkeeper. Botvinnik.
It should have been Keres but at the trials Keres let in 20 goals. Some say he was forced to and did it on purpose to let Botvinnik play.
Left Back. Danny Gormally.
He punched an opponent and was sent off after only two minutes.
Right Back. Curt von Bardeleben
He left the field after 10 minutes and never came back.
Left Half and Right Half, Alekhine & Capablance.
Hopeless, the two of them refused to pass the ball to each other.
Centre Half and Captain. Magnus Carlsen.
His team talk was to score one goal and grind out a win. Also the only player wearing a sponsors logo on his shirt. Infact he was covered in company logo's.
Left Wing. Korchnoi.
At half time he defected and played for the other side.
Right Wing. Kasparov.
Subbed for Deep Blue and spent the rest of the game running up and down the touchline complaining about it.
Inside left Kramnik.
Kept leaving the field to go to the toilet.
Inside Right. Topalov.
Started complaining to the referee about how many times Kramnik left the field trying to get his own man sent off.
Centre Forward/Striker. Petrosian.
Refused to shoot on goal, infact spent entire game on his own goal line boosting the defence.
Final Score:
Barnstable United 11 Chess Players ½.
(Petrosian was playing, we always get a ½ when he plays.)